The Oscar blog
It's probably nothing like Sports Guy, but since I'm here in the office working and watching the Oscars while also watching some games and the news wires, might as well do a running log of what I saw. For those who I'd usually IM for stuff like this, consider this what I might've said had I decided to converse that way. It was the best way to balance work and fun all in one.

I will apologize for the length in advance …

Pre-game show
Chris Connelly is finally earning his Disney money after doing the occasional "must get paid" feature for ESPN. But what the heck is "competish"?

Billy Bush -- I thought it was the guy Ryan Seacrest eliminated from American Idol, but instead he caused plenty of awkward moments with every nominee. And why bring up "Oprah … Uma" again?

I think Elijah Wood and Peter Jackson wanted Maria Menounos' multi-million dollar dress to have a wardrobe malfunction. But I guess my friend Stew was happy to see her on screen again.


8:31 p.m. Thanks for bringing out Sean Connery to open, but I was waiting for him to mention something about swords.

8:32 p.m. Great opening film with references to everything under the sun, although it is tough to incorporate Lost In Translation with all the big-budget flicks involved. I liked the A-Rod throwaway line, not to mention Michael Moore getting trampled during the big LOTR war.

And yes, the songs are back, and while I suppose I was dreading the familiar, but Billy was fun. I really liked the "My Favorite Things" bit for "Lord of the Rings"

8:51 p.m. Tim Robbins wins Best Supporting Actor -- no surprise, really. I'm surprised he hadn't had an acting nomination before. Even more surprising -- his political statement was about child abuse.

8:55 p.m. Another awkward Jason Biggs moment to shill for Diet Pepsi. Wouldn't he have been a better choice for a Sara Lee or Mrs. Paul's ad campaign.

9:00 p.m. I'm not a big Angelina Jolie fan, but she did look good. Time for those smaller categories that actually make or break the Oscar pools. Oh look, LOTR won. I guess it's time for the sweep to begin. I thought it might be the place for one of the "other" films to earn a token nod.

9:03 p.m. How come Robin Williams doesn't crash Billy Crystal's party more often? Oh wait, his frenetic humor could turn people off. That includes the Elmer Fudd impression reading off the list of nominees for Best Animated Feature. And was there any doubt Finding Nemo was going to win?

9:06 p.m. I forgot about the silly instant replay between commercials. They're still slightly behind sporting events in turning those replays over quicker.

9:08 p.m. Hey, Oswald found a job while The Drew Carey Show is in limbo. ABC, just show it once and cancel it now so I can win points in the LaPlaca.

9:13 p.m. Yup, LOTR wins again for costumes. The rout has to be on, don't you think. Great, the one year I decide not to vote along the LOTR party lines -- at least not for the art and costume categories.

9:15 p.m. The Dennis Miller Big Picture bit makes a short but entertaining appearance.

9:20 p.m. Renee Zellweger finally gets that Oscar, although she needed to move down to Supporting Actress to get it. Why did they cut to Nicole Kidman when Renee thanked Tom Cruise? Just wondering.

9:27 p.m. Nice tribute to Bob Hope, and actually seems relevant to the show, but it probably extended the program by another 15-20 minutes. There will also be tributes to Gregory Peck and Katherine Hepburn, which now makes me feel bad to those who will be "relegated" to the annual death reel.

9:30 p.m. Oh wow, Florida State just went ahead of Duke (going back to be my actual job). The 'Noles beat Duke at home when they weren't good, so what will this year's good team do?

9:32 p.m. Couldn't Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson just say, "Go see Starsky and Hutch next weekend. And the nominees are …" instead of having Stiller wear the '70s stuff?

9:33 p.m. OK, a film about squash got nominated? Couldn't tell you too much about the other films for best live action short, though. But there goes another pick down the drain.

9:37 p.m. Hey, I got Harvie Krumpett right in our quickly assembled office pool. Sometimes picking the silliest name works.

9:38 p.m. Look, Lisa Loeb is at the Oscars. Oh sorry, that was Liv Tyler. I didn't know much about most of the original song nominees, but having Alison Krauss, Sting and Elvis Costello around to perform can't be a bad thing.

9:54 p.m. Billy Crystal can do a great Robin Williams. Otherwise, the "what are they thinking" bit seems to be done better at Thrashers games.

9:59 p.m. Gee, LOTR wins again. I think I got that one right this time.

10:00 p.m. I guess it's a rule that the scientific and technical awards must be hosted by a hot female actress to appease all the geeks in attendance. This year, Jennifer Garner drew the short straw. But hey, she gets face time at the Oscars because it wasn't for her appearance in Daredevil.

10:02 p.m. A Blake Edwards tribute is a great time for Jim Carrey to act like a nut. Works for me.

10:08 p.m. So much for Florida State against Duke.

10:15 p.m. Oh wait, Dream Job is on. Umm, I'll wait to skewer it on the replay. Instead, let's leave the comedy to the real masters like Bill Murray who's introducing Lost In Translation.

10:17 p.m. Interesting 1-2 punch with Murray followed by Johansson. She looks much better here than at the Golden Globes, but I still don't see her as such a glamour girl.

10:19 p.m. LOTR wins for makeup. The rout continues. Wait, Peter King is one of the winners? Is he going to have his own Oscar diary in Monday Morning Quarterback? Thankfully, he didn't use the Oscar podium to rail on Delta again.

10:25 p.m. A non-LOTR film wins a technical award (Master and Commander for sound editing). Of course, LOTR wasn't nominated.

10:28 p.m. When I first saw Julia Roberts on the red carpet tonight, I wasn't sure if I was looking at Sarah Jessica Parker or worse yet, Courtney Love with a dye job. But it's still a good choice to intro the Hepburn tribute.

10:33 p.m. Nightly crash in the office. Also seeing the Dream Job guys do Fact or Fiction, which actually seems like a good test for the contestants. Oh yeah, that Ogre/Hobbit dude is pretty slick.

10:40 p.m. I like the pairing of John Cusack and Diane Lane, even if it is for the documentary awards. At least they had better chemistry that John Travolta and Sandra Bullock.

10:43 p.m. The Fog of War wins Best Documentary Feature, and brings a nice ovation from the CNN.com newsroom, who were hyping it up in recent months. He didn't go as far as Michael Moore, but it was getting there, and with even more blank stares from the stars (which is why they weren't usually shown during the other awards). Crystal's retort, "I can't wait to see his tax audit," was a nice recovery.

10:50 p.m. Time for the "others" dead celebrity montage. It's always spooky to see who gets the most applause, while others get none. Why don't they just turn off the crowd mike when that happens? Just a thought. And Donald O'Connor gets the last frame, but John Ritter appears to be the winner of the loudest reaction.

10:52 p.m. Ah, here's the Tiger Woods as Carl Spackler ad. What took them so long? Nice ending, too. Kenny Loggins -- enemy of the gopher.

10:56 p.m. Time for the Adult Contemporary portion of the Oscar telecast with Sting and Phil Collins presenting. No word if they'll apologize for their music of the '90s. At least Bryan Adams isn't around.

11:03 p.m. Cool, they're in character for A Mighty Wind.

11:11 p.m. Over on Dream Job … It's not a good sign when a sponsor comes up with a plan to give a not-so-good performer a second chance on a reality show. Thankfully, Alvin (the Wendy's Wild Card winner) was shown the door quickly. Although that also means two of the four black contestants have been eliminated.

11:14 p.m. OK, Will Ferrell and Jack Black get three minutes to be goofy, this time with music. Cute.

11:17 p.m. You know it's LOTR's night when it's winning Best Original Song.

11:21 p.m. And best Foreign Language Film goes to El Lordo del Ringos. Never mind, it went to a Canadian film (yes, it was in French, much to Triumph's delight). Oh great, the producers of the winning film thought the same thing I did.

11:23 p.m. Overheard in the office: Uma Thurman looks like Heidi.

11:26 p.m. Does the Mars Rover have Lo-Jack?

11:31 p.m. I think LOTR nails the sweep after taking adapted screenplay against a solid field. In the words of Warner Wolf, if you took LOTR as your default Oscar pick, you won.

11:35 p.m. Lost In Translation gets the Oscar for "most buzzworthy out-of-the-box film that's not going to win Best Picture," otherwise known as Best Original Screenplay. (see The Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, Good Will Hunting). I loved the film, but as a screenplay, I'm not sure it was all that great. However, there was a well-timed cut to cousin Nicolas Cage screaming in approval. There are more Oscars to share in the family.

11:43 p.m. 10 down, one to go for LOTR. Is there much suspense involving anything LOTR? Oh wait, the acting awards are up.

11:48 p.m. No surprise, Charlize Theron wins the award for "beautiful actress who needs to look ugly to gain respect." Nice touch by Adrian Brody with the Binaca before opening the envelope. If I didn't know, I wouldn't have believed Theron was from South Africa -- maybe that's because I had a co-worker originally from there who still had a thick accent.

11:53 p.m. What's with the filler promoting Best Actor? The telecast could've finished close to on time.

Midnight It's a matter of time before Sean Penn won Best Actor. But to me, he'll always still be Jeff Spicoli, although now he's got a bit of a political agenda. Thankfully, it wasn't the main part of his speech. I'm disappointed Bill Murray didn't win, but he's a funny guy

12:05 a.m. I guess it's only fitting that Spielberg would give out Best Picture the year that Lord of the Rings takes it all. Isn't it usually some well-known actor or actress hands out the biggest piece of hardware?

12:07 a.m. A clean sweep for LOTR, making it easy to mark up those Oscar pools. But props to Peter Jackson for mentioning "Meet the Feebles." Billy Crystal knows how to play up to the camera after the so out-of-place mention of a producer dating Crystal's cousin. I love his, "Get the camera off me" look he had. BTW, those hobbits keep perpetuating their stereotypes. Even as they panned through the crowd on stage, they were together, much shorter than the statuesque models handing over the hardware. They couldn't find Peter Dinklage to make them look tall?

12:15 a.m. Nice job overall by Billy Crystal. Sometimes going with the old reliable works, just look at the Bob Hope Oscar clips they kept on showing. The show was actually kept at a nice pace, even those time fillers weren't all that long.

I think we're only a bit surprised that Lord of the Rings went 11-for-11. There were a few places where other films probably could've snuck in and grabbed an award or two, but it didn't happen. Instead, it was the unpredictability of predictability that won out tonight. I suppose the oddsmakers were happy with that.

More "real" reflections later. Maybe this'll be distilled into something later on.